The Provisional Nudge

   God amazes me. I mean really knocks my socks off amazes me. I think that without even intending to, I shrink God down to the size I can handle, which is pretty small. Then, when He does something to provide I stand back just amazed.

   I was seventeen when I graduated from high school. A typical teenager in many ways, especially as hormones went up and down and so did all the emotions that went with it. I remember walking the halls of my high school feeling so alone, out of place, and not fitting in at all. I buried myself in my books and music, and I knew how to put on a good face. What I didn’t know at seventeen was that some of the people I was meeting then would be the moment of provision fourteen years later!
   Sometimes, you need the right word of encouragement and of wisdom to share. But, it’s like the words that get stuck on the tip of your tongue. You try and try to figure out what the word is, but it remains stubbornly on that tongue tip and refuses to come out. Does it start with a C? Maybe an R? End with ly or ing? The words of wisdom are sometimes like those stuck words, and I wrack my brain trying to come up with the right thing. I feel like some weird vocabulary cheerleader – come on words, you can do it! Rah, rah, sis, boom word! Then, I felt a nudge. Go ask that person you know.
   “Lord, are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother? Will she think I’m nuts?”
   But, let me tell you, I obeyed the nudge and God provided again. I watched the words stuck on my own tongue come flowing from her so beautifully. My heart leaped with joy as I had the opportunity to see God provide again! Seventeen years old, I never would have thought it. But, here we are and I’m thanking him for crossing the paths of us then, and now.

Sunflower Lessons

   Driving to a nearby town a few weeks ago, I saw large wild sunflowers blooming along side of the road. There was paved road, gravel, and then sunflowers. They weren’t part of a formal garden, where someone had carefully selected the spot for them to grow. They weren’t being cultivated and tended carefully. These were where some sunflower seeds had been taken by the wind and were now growing.

   Driving along, I was thinking that we have some lessons presented to us in the most obvious fashions that we find, at times, to be unbearably subtle. There were lessons that were coming from that sunflower patch that day.a
   Standing in the sun, they were blooming where they were planted. They were not looking disheveled and at a pouted wilt because they didn’t like their location. It didn’t matter that mulch wasn’t placed around or that the border flowers are really just a collection of weeds. So, the lesson is to bloom were you are at. Don’t wait for the perfect garden landscape to be created around you. Create beauty where you are.
   Do I always succeed at this? I roll my eyes even thinking about it, No! No, I don’t. Sometimes I look around, and certainly have looked around, and wondered – why here, why now, what in the world is around me? Conversations would occur in my car, prayers that generally consisted of, “Lord, can you tell me why I am here? And I know you have a purpose, so can we just get it over with so I can get out of here? These people don’t even have a ....!” Thankfully, patience is a virtue because I haven’t found my car hurtling toward some life lesson just to smash in nose first because I wanted the time-table changed. I generally find out that my blooming where I was planted wasn’t just for the benefit of someone else, but for mine as well. And as for the time in-between, it was needed, chafed against – but needed..
   The other lesson was to bloom. Period. Those seeds, perhaps dropped by birds or winter stockpiling squirrels, met the ground, buried in, and grew. There was no checklist of further supplies which had to be delivered first, no waiting list of to-dos which were to be done before further growing would commence. They were planted, so they attempted to grow. That was their focus, grow because I can and should. We often have opportunities to grow and don’t. Why? We’re waiting for all of the to-do’s to be all-done’s and the circumstances to be just so. Don’t wait. Get started – go grow!
   Again, not always my strongest point. I love to have all of the parts in place, all of the information, all of the facts, detailed and highlighted maps with exit numbers marked in color-coded highlighter. I use pro/con lists and want plans of what something will look like long before I ever step foot into even deciding whether or not to step foot into it. Thus, growth can certainly go on the back burner. But, God has a way of pushing me forward, albeit reluctantly at times, and reminding me – go grow! “But, I don’t know everything yet, what if I fail?” Yeah, that is generally what it boils down to. The answer that comes back is one that humbles me and encourages me all at the same time, “Then pick yourself up and keep growing.”
   So go, grow, and bloom.

Protector of the Protectors

Twila Paris wrote a beautiful song in 1984, The Warrior is a Child.  The words both confirm the beauties of God’s grace, the strength, of his armor, and that there are still wounds.  Wounds come to those in the Christian body, and when they are from inside the Christian body it can feel even harsher.  Each of us has gifts, different and yet similar in that they are meant to focus on a common purpose.  Looking at the role of a shepherd, we see someone that guides, someone who addresses wounds, someone who feeds them, and someone who protects them.

A guide helps the sheep know which way to go, the direction of the path which leads to grazing pastures and cool and clean water sources.  A shepherd addresses the wounds of his sheep.  Sometimes, the sheep will bear wounds from poor direction, chasing that elusive scent of fresh grass into a thicket of thorns.  At other times, wounds come from the sharp cut of claws and teeth from a predator.  As all living things, it is important that the sheep are fed.  But, they shouldn’t just eat any thing.  Their bodies will operate best on certain foods. 

We often need help knowing which way to go.  A fan of pro con lists, I have written many of them over the years trying to figure out decisions.  Grabbing whatever piece of paper is handy; I draw out my T and label each side.  Pro, cons – then, I start listing out all of the possible things my decision might affect.  The problem is that often, I still don’t know which way to go.  Instead, I need someone who knows the paths to give me some firm directions. 

A shepherd is responsible for the health of the sheep, meaning that their wounds must be tended.  Strong sure hands can move over that body and know what feels amiss.  Perhaps a patch has been scraped when walking in thorns.  Removal of debris from the wounds and tending to the needs fulfills the role of a healer.  Other animals may see sheep as easy prey, weak and without any defensive means.  Wolves and lions prowl, hungry and looking for prey.  Sharp claws, deadly teeth slash at the sheep and the shepherd must keep the sheep safe. But, also if an attack occurs, the survivors must be given healing touches.

Finally, there is a protector.  The shepherd who stands between the predator and the prey and defends the herd, watchful eyes and ears are required, skill with the use of the staff.  We each have a gift, and some of us are more aware of our enemies than others.  We learn to protect through prayer.  We do not rely on ourselves and our strength, but rely on God to fight for us.  It is the role of the protector to be aware, to warn, to turn things over to God. 

What do you do however when your protectors are tired? Especially, if the hurt is from within the body of Christ, the wound seems to be doubly deep, and infection of bitterness and feelings of betrayal easily set in.  What do you do then?  Yes, I do love that song by Twila Paris, as she acknowledges the hurt, but it is only in the retreat that we go to lay wounded, bruised, and broken at God’s feet.  There, and only there, we are picked up and the shepherd applies the healing ointment The wounds are cleaned, bound, and we are given a time to rest.   Then, donning the armor we resume our role.  

Guided by the Lion

I have a few authors that are like old friends to me, reading their words over and over until they are part of my thought patterns.  Tolkien is one, C.S. Lewis is becoming another.  I recently finished reading The Horse and His Boy, which can be perceived as a children’s book – but really has layers of meaning.  There is a character woven through the story, a lion who the protagonist finds over and over, but interacts with him, without knowing that it is the same lion over and over. 

At the end of the story (if you haven’t read the book – stop here and go read it so I don’t ruin part of the story), the lion comes back…

Okay – I warned you…. progress further only at your own risk…..

The lion shows himself at the end to the main character and explains how he has been there all along, guiding him, changing his path, providing warmth, providing protection, teaching, and moving him to a new direction. 

In my own life, the lion has moved me off my path before.  Right now, I’m nursing along what has become affectionately known as a cobble hobbled ankle.  It’s cobble because I injured it on a cobble stone street thus leading to the hobble.  I read the Lewis book yesterday, finishing today and found myself wondering where my path was being directed.  I don’t believe in coincidence, in mis-happen could have been a chance type mind sets.  So, what is it that my path changed from, where to?  I don’t know right now.  Instead, it is my job to wait well.  It is my job to soak up the warmth from the lion rather than walk along to the next mountain.  In this time, I can continue my reading and writing, continue my seeking and searching.  And when the lion tells me to move again, I will be ready.