River of Stories

This week has been a time to slow down and listen to the storied currents swirling around me. Every city, large or small, is a holder of the collected stories of the people who live there; New Orleans is certainly no exception. This place, where the dichotomy between poverty and wealth is clearly seen often places them within a neighborly reach of each other. Yet, the overriding theme I have heard in a slow southern drawl this week speaks of the path from tragedy to victory, testifying to God’s goodness along the way.

Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast in 2005. The impact was felt all along the region as water and wind rushed into the area leaving failed levees, flooded communities, and extreme damage in its wake. People found themselves in impossible situations, not being able to hear from or contact family for weeks, and feeling intense relief as they finally heard the voice of a loved one; even while realizing homes and businesses were destroyed. Lives were changed forever.

The stories of the devastation are still fresh in the minds of people who survived the storm. The losses experienced of people, pets, homes, businesses, plans and investments are still felt. However, in the midst of the losses, the continuation of the rebuilding of the city is shown through the hard work of restoration moving ahead with purposeful intensity.

Listeners might expect such stories to end in the loss and frustration found in the face of such a storm. Rather what is heard is an undeniable hope and resilience in the face of damages. Stories swirled around, as vital as the waters in the Mississippi River weaving through the city, pointing over again and again to the overwhelming goodness of God. Deep, heartfelt thankfulness spoke to those who have embraced the ability to participate once again in the day-to-day normalcy of life.

I loved hearing the stories of people, resilient faith tested by fire and water, coming out shining and beautiful through the forge of Katrina.

Provision

   I love quiet alone time in my car. It’s sort of my me and God time, minus the phone (no texting you know), limited distractions, and no other people in my car. I hit the button, turn off the radio and love to just talk with God. Yesterday, I was looking forward to that time, knowing I would have probably around forty five minutes in my car with a few errands and then getting to go see a friend play basketball. Heading down the road, I turned off the radio and started thanking God for his provision.

   As I thought back over the last few years, it struck me afresh how deep down prayers, groaned at the throne of the Heavenly Father, had been answered. I felt my eyes welt up, a good thing I was turning into the parking lot! The thing that really hit me was that when I was pouring out my heart a few years ago, I never would have guessed at how the answer would have shown up. And yet, it’s a perfect fit for me. It amazes me over and over when God does that. I could never have planned this this well, and it was a matter of trust and patience. God’s provision really is amazing.

The Eternal Assurance Agent

   Working my way through books, H.G. Wells wrote in the War of the Worlds, that “God is no insurance agent.” I thought that that was an interesting statement, but wanted to add my own though at the end of the characters. God is an assurance agent!

   Insurance is (according to the English Encarta Dictionary) “an arrangement in which a company provides customers financial protection against loss or harm in return for a sum of money in premium payments.” So, if God is an insurance agent, then I have to buy an agreement and pay for it. And, I better make sure that that agreement covers everything under the sun, because insurance only covers what is in the agreement.
   Assurance is a pledge of promise of certainty. Again, going to the dictionary, an assurance is “confidence and freedom from uncertainty; a declaration intended to inspire confidence.” In Job, a companion said, “Be assured that my words are not false; one who has perfect knowledge is with you.” The certainty God offers is not based on what is covered in our plan, but in His plan. He is the maker of eternal assurance.
  
Job 36:4

Stuck

   Ow, ow ow ow ow ow!!! Somehow I managed to catch my hand between the phone and the plastic phone case. It was stuck on a pants pocket and I couldn’t get it off my pants pocket or my hand. Let me set the scene….

   Buddy, the puppy needs to go out and I put his leash on him and we go out. I grab a hat on my way out the door. After a text, and trying to put the phone back into the case one handed with a leash being yanked on by a happy hyper puppy, somehow my a small chunk of skin got caught in the phone case with the phone. Thus, here I am standing outside in my rubber boots, hat, and with the puppy on the leash declaring to the entire neighborhood, ow ow OW! My attempt to release my hand wasn’t working and it was really jammed in there, I couldn’t just pull it out. So, I dashed inside and got assistance to get my hand free! Thank heavens for helping hands!
   So, what did I learn besides putting your phone back into it’s case should be done only with two hands and adult supervision? Sometimes, you need someone else to help untangle you!
   Matthew 18:15 tells us, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” We were not made to be solitary creatures, but to rely on each other as one part of the body relies on another part to function. There are times when we can work through a problem, just us and God. However, there are other times when we need someone else to come along beside and teach.

Yarn Knots

   I have a beautiful round ball of a red soft wool yarn. It wasn’t in such an orderly ball until recently as it had turned from a large spiral of yarn into a collection of knots within knots. It was hidden in the yarn bag because it was such a mess. As I started untwisting it and working through the knots, I found out that it was going to take a while. Take the ball of yarn through the four strands, then loop it back through three others. Undo the twist of two pieces that are then twisted under and over and around two other pieces. Yes, it took a while. But, slowly, the knots grew smaller and the ball of yarn orderly and wrapped grew larger.

   Knots in our lives can work in much the same way. We realize that the knots are suddenly growing out of control. Where did they come from? My first inclination might be to stick it bag into the yarn bag, don’t address it and hope that somehow it just becomes orderly on its own. And well, that didn’t work at all… So, the yarn has be taken out, the knots or problems must be examined and looked at. Then, slowly one twist at a time the knot is examined and a decision is made as to which way movement is needed to undo the knot. It takes time and effort to undo the knots and problems of our lives, whether on a personal level, locally, statewide, nationally, or globally. We cannot just place them in the yarn bag and hope that they fix themselves.
   Be brave, be strong, seek God’s peace and wisdom – take a deep breath and pull the yarn out of the bag.

The Provisional Nudge

   God amazes me. I mean really knocks my socks off amazes me. I think that without even intending to, I shrink God down to the size I can handle, which is pretty small. Then, when He does something to provide I stand back just amazed.

   I was seventeen when I graduated from high school. A typical teenager in many ways, especially as hormones went up and down and so did all the emotions that went with it. I remember walking the halls of my high school feeling so alone, out of place, and not fitting in at all. I buried myself in my books and music, and I knew how to put on a good face. What I didn’t know at seventeen was that some of the people I was meeting then would be the moment of provision fourteen years later!
   Sometimes, you need the right word of encouragement and of wisdom to share. But, it’s like the words that get stuck on the tip of your tongue. You try and try to figure out what the word is, but it remains stubbornly on that tongue tip and refuses to come out. Does it start with a C? Maybe an R? End with ly or ing? The words of wisdom are sometimes like those stuck words, and I wrack my brain trying to come up with the right thing. I feel like some weird vocabulary cheerleader – come on words, you can do it! Rah, rah, sis, boom word! Then, I felt a nudge. Go ask that person you know.
   “Lord, are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother? Will she think I’m nuts?”
   But, let me tell you, I obeyed the nudge and God provided again. I watched the words stuck on my own tongue come flowing from her so beautifully. My heart leaped with joy as I had the opportunity to see God provide again! Seventeen years old, I never would have thought it. But, here we are and I’m thanking him for crossing the paths of us then, and now.

Misunderstood Covering

   We have been having heat advisories here nearly every day. I know it’s hot when the walk from my car to the office leaves my sunglass rims hot enough that they are uncomfortable against my face. The high humidity and heat leave me craving cool weather, cool water, cool air – cool everything! So, as I climb into my car after such a hot day and crank up the air conditioner, I wonder for a few minutes if it is making any difference at all. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the air cools a bit and then a little more. In the time between the air conditioning really taking strong effect and the initial blast of heat, it seems that nothing is occurring. And yet, cool air is really slowly moving in and the space is cooling off.

   I think that something similar happens with headaches and taking a couple over the counter pain pills. A pounding headache, burning eyes, and piercing straight into your skull from any lights doesn’t necessarily go away from two ibuprofen. And yet, when the pain pills wear off, it comes to light how much they were really helping.
   It is the same way with God’s peace. God moves in his own way, and speaks with a still small voice. We often think nothing is happening, that nothing is changing. And then the pain is diminished, the air is cooled and we realize that there was something happening all along.

I Didn’t Even Realize

   Around two years ago, I had hit a wall. I knew I needed to address the issues, but I didn’t have a good idea of how. I had never dealt with something like this and when conflict would come – I just froze. So, crunch had come. By crunch time, I mean that my middle was crunched with stress. It hurt running into that metaphorical brick wall, and I went to a class which was a light bulb turning on moment for me. I finally put the pieces into place of how to be assertive, set good boundaries, and yet also wanting to care for someone else.

    The thing about any kind of new habit or new skill is that it takes time to learn. So, I very consciously went about trying to do this. Reading a boundaries book, I took great comfort in knowing that when first learning to set boundaries you often would go overboard and draw them too tightly. I set out to put my new skills to work, and they did work. Every success made me a little more confident. With the failures, I would remember that this was a skill and it took time to develop.
   It’s been somewhere around two years since that awful day of running into brick walls (over and over and over), and then going to that class. It’s been somewhere around two years and I just realized last week that I can do these things. I can be assertive. I can be caring and compassionate and assertive, while being gracious. It’s not a perfect mix and I am still learning. But, I didn’t even realize how much it had become ingrained in me.
   A friend on face book posted, asking if there was something we could change about ourselves, what would it be? The answers were all good. People want patience and caring, forgiveness, kindness, persistence, family, and listening; they are all good answers. Realizing that this skill which seemed beyond my ability when I was learning it has now really started taking hold in me, it made me start thinking about what I want to focus on next.
   Confidence in self, based on my values and not on others? Gracious hospitality that is more of an effortless art and less of an enjoyable effort? Believing in my intelligence capability when it comes to topics which are very difficult for me to grasp, and finding ways to really understand them? A better understanding of God and His perspective? Wisdom to know the difference between someone’s opinion and someone’s good opinion and to be able to let one go and hold the other close. Perhaps it’s just learning how to write a doable to do list! Practice of trust in God, even when I don’t understand and to step out in faith, even when I can’t see the path. I’m not sure – there is so much I want to grow into! All I know is that in a few more years, I want to be able to look back and think, wow – this new character trait has become part of who I am.

Unwrapped

I recently got to tie-dye with some friends. Besides having feet and hands a bit stained, the dying went well. It was so amazing watching the fabric soak up the dye. Then, we had to practice our patience as we let everything sit over night. The next evening, I pulled out the first t-shirt. It was bound still with twine and rubber bands. I rinsed and some of the die came out. Then, after doing the rinse ring cycle several times, it was time to cut away the rubber bands and twine. I was a little nervous doing this. The colors on the outside were really strong and vibrant. But, as I imagined a whole shirt looking like this, I wondered if it would just be a mess of brown on the inside. Starting at one end and moving toward the other, each little binder came off. Much to my amazement and delight, beautiful patterns emerged and the color combinations came together in expected and unexpected ways. Standing out in the grass under the big tree in the front yard, I thought about how we are much the same way. We get bound up and wrapped up in different things, people, events, activities. Our life gets filled up with colorful memories and actions. Even when it is full of good things, the colors on the outside may seem to bright, too much. Eventually, we get so wrapped up that it just looks like one great big color blob on the outside. But then, God unwraps the bindings. Underneath, and in-between the areas where we think that there is just going to a brown muck, there is instead colors and patterns, blending and swirling in unexpected ways.

The Air I Need to Breathe

There is a song that I keep hearing snatches of in my head, one phrase really and it just plays over and over. It’s not one of those really annoying stuck in your head songs like Rubber Ducky or The Song That Never Ends. It is just a phrase where it acknowledges that God knows just how much air I will need to breathe. It blows me away. I never thought of that before. It’s not like my breathing is an always constant thing. I use more air when yawning or taking a brisk walk, breathing deep and really filling my lungs. At other times, that breathing is just so matter of fact, I don’t even think about it.

That amazes me. I’m sure there is some average we could figure. The human lungs hold approximately this much air volume. From that, multiply it by the number of adults estimated and we can get some sort of a figure of how much air we need. But unless we are going to drastically over-estimate, would you all mind breathing a bit slower and more shallowly? I’d hate to run out.
The creator of the universe knows how much air I will need in my life, how many sighs, yawns, gasps, deep breaths, and just normal breaths I will take. Amazing!

Winding Down the Clock – Winding Up the Fire

This week kicked off a life changing event for around four thousand teens and their youth leaders in Columbus, Ohio. It is called Challenge, a national youth event put on by the EFCA church denomination every two years. Imagine a conference/concert/mission trip/team building event packed into one week and you have a glimpse of Challenge. I went to something similar in high school, called Life. Life was a yearly event brought by the Christian Missionary Alliance denomination. These events are intended to be more than just a big youth party, a frenzy of speakers and stuff – they are intended and purposed to be life changing moments for those in attendance.

Imagine that life goes along and then something pivotal happens. You can choose to what angle it will move you, to a large or small degree, but you are in a moment where movement can occur. And not just any movement, but big movement, this is the moment that all of those who have worked so hard in speaking and performing and preparing are really striving toward.
Saturday, they are heading home. Packed into buses, vans, airplanes, and cars, all of those who spilled into the city to partake of this time are now leaving. As the group I know moves back across the US in the vans, I have been thinking about their prayer requests and about how they will have a life change.
A substance used to exist, for the most terrible of battlefield tools, Greek fire. Greek fire was a chemical reaction; put a series of materials together, mix, add air, throw it onto something and it would catch into a brilliant flame of searing heat. It was not put out with water, but burned until it was out of fuel. As the teens and leaders come back, they will have a new life and enthusiasm with them. How could you not with that kind of environment? For a whole week, speakers, helpers, and leaders have poured themselves into you, with the express purpose of loving you as God loves you.
The return home is the time when you start finding out if the fire within you is a regular fire or Greek fire. You start facing daily challenges, must now decide to put changes into practice, deal with adversity, face disappointments and frustrations, and experience life. Along the way, there are buckets of water and various other substances that are thrown onto your fire. Other methods are tried to put you back as you were. Don’t be fearful of running out fuel for the fire, God is the ultimate provider and is the creator of all. The fuel will not be removed, though it certainly may change over time.
I am so looking forward to hearing the stories of this week. I want to hear about the songs and stories, the hotel and city, the unexpected and delighted. But even more, I am looking forward to hearing the stories in five or fifteen or twenty five years. I want to hear stories of what the changes were in a life from pivotal change, what kind of fire was lit, and how life was altered, altered forever.

Pillar Road signs and Protectors

I have been reading in Exodus recently, getting caught up in the story of Joseph. Then, as it progresses, I just can’t put this down as the people’s story is told. Something struck me the other day as I was reading. Exodus 13 and 14 refer to the Lord moving in front of the Israelites as a pillar of fire and pillar of cloud. If you aren’t familiar with that, this is the part where the plagues have occurred in Egypt. There has been severe impact on the land, and Pharaoh has finally reached the point where he wants the Israelites out.

The people were slaves for a period of time in Egypt, long enough that those were living probably didn’t experience being something other than slaves. They were now moving out in a different direction. If can be frightening to move into something new, to make changes. For them, I would imagine it would be doubly difficult as they also had enormous psychological baggage to overcome. So, it strikes me as so interesting that God went ahead of the people, “in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light.” I wonder how much heat a pillar of fire puts off or how much shade a pillar of cloud offers. Either way, it would be a comfort to see such a prominent road sign in front. “Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people.” The Lord provided a clear sign of where to go, and then stayed there leading the people. By staying in front of them, he provided a visual reminder of his presence, that they were to literally follow him.
I love that vision! How many times have I wondered if I should turn right or left, so caught up in the possibilities around me that I have forgotten to look at the pillar of fire and cloud right in front of me. I’m so thankful that God provides us direction. A pillar of fire, that would provide light, but I don’t know how much light it would cast over a distance, how bright it was in the dark of a desert in night. It reminds me when things seem dim and dark to look for that pillar of fire to light the way, letting me see one step at a time.
Things changed as the Israelites traveled. Pharaoh changed his mind, and started pursuing the people with the force of his army. The pillar that had been in front of the people moved “from in front and stood behind them, coming between the armies of Egypt and Israel. Throughout the night the cloud brought darkness to the one side and light to the other; so neither went near the other all night long.” The people had their way set before them. They had their direction, they knew the way they were supposed to go. But, there was a threat coming behind them and the Lord moved to protect them from that threat. It would be easy to become distracted at that point, to focus on what is going on behind you instead of front of you. Their protector was now behind, guarding, which meant that the people needed to be brave enough to set out on the direction they had been given. Sometimes, we need to do the same. We have something which we need protected from and it may feel that God is doing just that, but not standing in front of us as well. Perhaps the way has already been given, we now need the courage to move forward, knowing we are protected.

Nurse, Hold, Carry… and Release

Have you ever noticed the way we use the words grudge, problem, and burden? We nurse grudges, hold problems close, and carry burdens. Ever wonder why? I mean, doesn’t that seem a bit backwards? You would think that we would want to shun grudges, dismiss problems, and rid ourselves of burdens.

Okay, so it’s not that easy to let go of these things. It’s not so easy to release those things. And at other times I think we, myself included, are not even realizing that we are doing such things. Nursing a grudge, holding it close and nurturing it; I’ve been there and done that. It’s not easy to let those go, especially if it is something that has been nursed. Problems held close, repeated over and over in the mind and heart until they are overwhelmed and the problems are so bloated that they are completely out of perspective. Burdens are carried, moved with us from place to place. We get up and move and pick up our burden and carry it along with us.
Take a deep breath. No, really – a deep breath, way down in the bottom of your lungs. Then, hold it for a few moments, then relax and let it out. Feel the relaxing in your muscles as the air goes wooshing out, the pressure release? For me, that is a pleasant feeling. What if we let go of our grudges, problems, and burdens in the same way? Wooosh and we release it to God, who can carry our burdens and let us go on without having to carry all of that with us. What a release!

Only in the Storms

We ask why do we have bad storms, cyclones and hurricanes? Asking God, “don’t you realize that you have people here that get hurt with this?” I saw a television show the other day about manna rays. These amazing sea creatures were spiraling in a giant cloud of the agricultural bits that they enjoy. They said that only in cyclones do these animals gather like this, in giant spirals, in a condition created by the cyclone.



It served as a reminder to me that during the storms, the difficult times, when we are wondering where God is and why this is occurring, that there may be some other purpose, literally under the surfaced that we do not see or understand. With that knowledge, it can bring both a hope and understanding to the difficult times.

Revealed

God amazes me, because he reveals things to me from time to time. It’s not that I always want to hear it, but the timing is so perfect.

My car has been having some problems, apparently the solenoid cylinder has a problem and needs replaced. Not being mechanically minded, please don’t ask what this very mechanical sounding thing. I just know that the car doesn’t run correctly if it isn’t fixed. They very graciously loaned me a loner car. Sitting down in the car, I had a twinge of a groan. Okay, a full blown groan.
The loner, tattered and smelling kind of stale, ran. Yes, a spot of grumbling was shown up in me.
The next day, after febreezing the car thoroughly, the pup and I headed to her check-up at the vet. Driving back, it was a great time spent in prayer.
God, I’m sorry about the groaning. You have provided for me, and even though it wasn’t what I was looking for, you provided. Here I am groaning and you provided!
I continue to try and change out my grumbling for gratitude, recognizing God’s provision. Though it’s not always easy, it is a conscious effort and means that I am open to what God reveals to me.