I had the project this last weekend to completely empty and clean my bedroom. So, after everything was moved, the walls still needed to be washed and the carpet cleaned. With a sore knee, the step stool wasn’t really all that fun. But, I had to do something to reach the top of the walls. So, it was on and off the step stool I went. By the end of the day, what can I say but ouch. However, it felt so good to have the room clean. At the end of the day, I stretched out on the floor, just to enjoy the carpet.
As much as I am looking forward to having the new furniture in place and everything back, I love the quiet space that now exists.
The quiet, when our world just gets too busy and noisy (which is quite frequently), it is a precious thing to me. When I become too busy, it is just so difficult to hear from God. That is probably partially why I so admire the Mary heart. Luke 10:41-42 says, “‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”
There seems to be plenty to worry about, knees for instance as you climb up and down off of step stools. But, what good does that worry do me? I don’t mean not caring and just nonchalantly passing off everything in my path. There are definitely items which require planning, coordination, and are deserving of attention. But, that isn’t worry. Worry is the act of just well, worrying. You don’t do anything productive with it.
I am a champion worrier. I know how to worry in multiple time zones, across continents with multiple subjects at one time! I know how to worry about the weather (a dog that freaks out at storms), the future, the past, work, bills, life, health, family, friends…. I know how to worry! And maybe that is part of the trick of it, I know how to worry. I get it, I understand it. But, not worry and sit at the feet of Jesus, well that is not my natural state and I have to unlearn and relearn things. Lying on that carpet though, I was reminded once again, gently and quietly, with that still small voice, “Give it to me.”
“Lord, I’m worried about…..” my list would start rolling off my tongue.
“Give it to me”
“But, Lord, I’m worried about….. (I’m know progressing into international politics, weather, and my April calendar).
“Give it to me”
“But Lord, are you hearing me? I said I’m worried about…..”
“Give it to me.”
I paused, and then it hit me – wow I’m doing this again. I’m worrying, and holding on to things that I can’t control, can’t fix, can’t do anything with.
“Lord, I’m giving it you.”
“Thanks. Now, just be quiet”
Showing posts with label facing the known. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facing the known. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Yarn Knots
I have a beautiful round ball of a red soft wool yarn. It wasn’t in such an orderly ball until recently as it had turned from a large spiral of yarn into a collection of knots within knots. It was hidden in the yarn bag because it was such a mess. As I started untwisting it and working through the knots, I found out that it was going to take a while. Take the ball of yarn through the four strands, then loop it back through three others. Undo the twist of two pieces that are then twisted under and over and around two other pieces. Yes, it took a while. But, slowly, the knots grew smaller and the ball of yarn orderly and wrapped grew larger.
Knots in our lives can work in much the same way. We realize that the knots are suddenly growing out of control. Where did they come from? My first inclination might be to stick it bag into the yarn bag, don’t address it and hope that somehow it just becomes orderly on its own. And well, that didn’t work at all… So, the yarn has be taken out, the knots or problems must be examined and looked at. Then, slowly one twist at a time the knot is examined and a decision is made as to which way movement is needed to undo the knot. It takes time and effort to undo the knots and problems of our lives, whether on a personal level, locally, statewide, nationally, or globally. We cannot just place them in the yarn bag and hope that they fix themselves.
Be brave, be strong, seek God’s peace and wisdom – take a deep breath and pull the yarn out of the bag.
Knots in our lives can work in much the same way. We realize that the knots are suddenly growing out of control. Where did they come from? My first inclination might be to stick it bag into the yarn bag, don’t address it and hope that somehow it just becomes orderly on its own. And well, that didn’t work at all… So, the yarn has be taken out, the knots or problems must be examined and looked at. Then, slowly one twist at a time the knot is examined and a decision is made as to which way movement is needed to undo the knot. It takes time and effort to undo the knots and problems of our lives, whether on a personal level, locally, statewide, nationally, or globally. We cannot just place them in the yarn bag and hope that they fix themselves.
Be brave, be strong, seek God’s peace and wisdom – take a deep breath and pull the yarn out of the bag.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Staged Face
She stood on stage. She had the smile perfectly practiced. Her poise came through and she seemed to speak calm and sweetness. Every movement was practiced, the way the microphone was held, the tilt of the head. To the most casual and even slightly mediocre observant watcher, she appears content and happy. It is in the eyes that you can catch a glimpse of the girl who is hiding behind the stage face. The doubt of her self-worth, the pain of hurt, and the uncertainty of growing up are present behind the mascara and eye-liner.
She is beautiful. And she doubts this. She is capable. And she doubts this. She is loved. And she doubts this.
I saw through the stage face. I have worn one as well at times. It is the face you put on when you don’t want people to comment, to state the platitudes which are well known and overly used. They are handy things, perhaps not good – but handy. Especially when having to face a crowd that is hostile, overly emotional, or just blasé. It is a helpful skill when stage lights are in your eyes and you can’t see the crowd at all. Yet, they think that you have singled one of them out specially. It is useful even when dealing with other tasks, which are unpleasant and require some sort of interaction. Yes, useful – but not always good. It isn’t always good because there is no one to disrupt the influence of the lie, to help us relearn truth.
Look beyond the stage face, look in the eyes. Let someone see past yours. Then, the healing can begin.
She is beautiful. And she doubts this. She is capable. And she doubts this. She is loved. And she doubts this.
I saw through the stage face. I have worn one as well at times. It is the face you put on when you don’t want people to comment, to state the platitudes which are well known and overly used. They are handy things, perhaps not good – but handy. Especially when having to face a crowd that is hostile, overly emotional, or just blasé. It is a helpful skill when stage lights are in your eyes and you can’t see the crowd at all. Yet, they think that you have singled one of them out specially. It is useful even when dealing with other tasks, which are unpleasant and require some sort of interaction. Yes, useful – but not always good. It isn’t always good because there is no one to disrupt the influence of the lie, to help us relearn truth.
Look beyond the stage face, look in the eyes. Let someone see past yours. Then, the healing can begin.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Invention
It hit a heat index of 122 this week! One hundred and twenty two very hot degrees! Walking up the hill from the office to the car, I smiled and felt my cheeks touch the rims of my sunglasses. Even the rims were hot! Sitting down in my car, I turned on the air conditioner full blast. It wasn’t until I actually pulled in that that air started to cool down. I stepped into the house and it felt so good. What a wonderful invention air conditioning was.
I wonder what the reaction was when people first started working on air conditioning, or any other invention. I know some inventions, many rather, have met with resistance and speculation. Others were welcomed openly. Some have passed through so quickly that we may not have even realized that there was a change occurring.
One generation sees an invention and it is something new and strange. The next may be seeing the third or fourth generation by-product and the initial invention is now out-dated. How wonderful is it that the inventors have pressed on, taking risks of failure, and came up with such creative things. Who would have imagined – a machine that cools the air. On days of 122 heat index – thank heavens!
I wonder what the reaction was when people first started working on air conditioning, or any other invention. I know some inventions, many rather, have met with resistance and speculation. Others were welcomed openly. Some have passed through so quickly that we may not have even realized that there was a change occurring.
One generation sees an invention and it is something new and strange. The next may be seeing the third or fourth generation by-product and the initial invention is now out-dated. How wonderful is it that the inventors have pressed on, taking risks of failure, and came up with such creative things. Who would have imagined – a machine that cools the air. On days of 122 heat index – thank heavens!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sinkholes
It was a giant hole! I mean a giant hole in the road! Heading to work, I generally drive over that spot at least once or maybe twice a day and now there is a giant hole there. We have had so much rain that there must have been some sort of a sink hole formed. And I mean deep and big! There were two guys working in it, and all I could see was the top of their hats.
Besides being slightly discomfiting, knowing I drive over this spot, it made me think about the way these holes are made. For some reason, I just couldn’t wrap my brain around how this worked, so I asked my dad to fill me in. He explained how small pieces of the dirt were washed away bit by bit with the ground water. Eventually, there was a chasm under the ground formed and when it reached close enough to the surface, the road fell in.
I may not be much for mechanical thinking (the thingy that connects to the other thingy and makes that stuff run is my idea of a technical answer), but my brain related it to life. How often do we have little bits and pieces washed away until there is a hole right under the surface? And then ca-boom, the road that we have traveled over so often. I can think of how this could be a negative thing, something that we haven’t dealt with eats away at us until we find ourselves standing in a hole, wondering what happened. I can also think of how it is an opportunity as well. I mean, think of the potential pot holes that we need to fix so that we don’t have to be standing in the bottom of a gigantic car eating hole!
So, then I thought about pot holes in my life. I wonder if I have ground water of a different kind seeping through and I need to deal with it. Perhaps we all do.
Besides being slightly discomfiting, knowing I drive over this spot, it made me think about the way these holes are made. For some reason, I just couldn’t wrap my brain around how this worked, so I asked my dad to fill me in. He explained how small pieces of the dirt were washed away bit by bit with the ground water. Eventually, there was a chasm under the ground formed and when it reached close enough to the surface, the road fell in.
I may not be much for mechanical thinking (the thingy that connects to the other thingy and makes that stuff run is my idea of a technical answer), but my brain related it to life. How often do we have little bits and pieces washed away until there is a hole right under the surface? And then ca-boom, the road that we have traveled over so often. I can think of how this could be a negative thing, something that we haven’t dealt with eats away at us until we find ourselves standing in a hole, wondering what happened. I can also think of how it is an opportunity as well. I mean, think of the potential pot holes that we need to fix so that we don’t have to be standing in the bottom of a gigantic car eating hole!
So, then I thought about pot holes in my life. I wonder if I have ground water of a different kind seeping through and I need to deal with it. Perhaps we all do.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Transitions
When I know why a change is or is not occurring I can normally accept it. I may not like it, approve of it, or even want it – but I can accept it. There are sometimes though I just rail against the change, the transitions in life that leave me feeling as if I am in transit, stuck in the back of some cab that is heading east while I’m wanting to go south. Where is the control? Can I have a steering wheel here in the back seat? And a brake pedal too?
It’s been a week of changes; many transitions have hit me this week. With nearly one per day of major transitions, I was left feeling my eyes grow teary at the last one. No more! I know life is not static. I know that change will and must occur, but not in such close succession.
And at the same time I am trying to keep it all together, in that moment when I had no words and a completely stunned look on my face, I know there are other transitions I would love to make but have not had the opportunity. What a dichotomy, what strange mishmash of perceived wants with transitions avoided and transitions sought in nearly the same breath. No wonder women are confusing to men. It’s not so much that we change our minds as we haven’t really explained that there are no hard fast rules only lots of little minute ones, with great subtlety and sub text. A list grows in my mind even now of transitions I would willingly and gladly make in my life, but they do not occur. Others which I find unpleasant or completely surprising, they come with frequency.
This makes me think; perhaps I have the whole transition thing backwards. Maybe I should want the ones which are occurring and not want the ones which aren’t occurring. Or, if not want – maybe I should be quicker to accept them.
It must seem as if I am talking in code. Let me back up and start again. A friend is moving, transitioning, to a new and wonderful stage of her life – motherhood. I am saying good-bye to my friend as a co-worker, as a co-worker who lives multiple states away. Will we lose touch? Will we just drift apart without topics of workplace function and process to keep us talking? At the same time, she is taking on a wonderful and noble transition which I would love to do. My heart, while being so incredibly pleased for her, aches for me. And yet, the ache is tempered by a desire for God’s will, a trust in God’s plan. It changes the hurt from a raw wound, to one that is being treated and bandaged properly. Unfortunately, this hurt is not one cured by a shot or sitting just so. I have to turn this over to God and let him heal it for me.
Perhaps I do have the whole transition thing backwards. Maybe the wanted transitions are just God’s way of wanting our attention.
It’s been a week of changes; many transitions have hit me this week. With nearly one per day of major transitions, I was left feeling my eyes grow teary at the last one. No more! I know life is not static. I know that change will and must occur, but not in such close succession.
And at the same time I am trying to keep it all together, in that moment when I had no words and a completely stunned look on my face, I know there are other transitions I would love to make but have not had the opportunity. What a dichotomy, what strange mishmash of perceived wants with transitions avoided and transitions sought in nearly the same breath. No wonder women are confusing to men. It’s not so much that we change our minds as we haven’t really explained that there are no hard fast rules only lots of little minute ones, with great subtlety and sub text. A list grows in my mind even now of transitions I would willingly and gladly make in my life, but they do not occur. Others which I find unpleasant or completely surprising, they come with frequency.
This makes me think; perhaps I have the whole transition thing backwards. Maybe I should want the ones which are occurring and not want the ones which aren’t occurring. Or, if not want – maybe I should be quicker to accept them.
It must seem as if I am talking in code. Let me back up and start again. A friend is moving, transitioning, to a new and wonderful stage of her life – motherhood. I am saying good-bye to my friend as a co-worker, as a co-worker who lives multiple states away. Will we lose touch? Will we just drift apart without topics of workplace function and process to keep us talking? At the same time, she is taking on a wonderful and noble transition which I would love to do. My heart, while being so incredibly pleased for her, aches for me. And yet, the ache is tempered by a desire for God’s will, a trust in God’s plan. It changes the hurt from a raw wound, to one that is being treated and bandaged properly. Unfortunately, this hurt is not one cured by a shot or sitting just so. I have to turn this over to God and let him heal it for me.
Perhaps I do have the whole transition thing backwards. Maybe the wanted transitions are just God’s way of wanting our attention.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Don’t Wait
We wait until some momentous occasion to say, to tell the impact that someone else has had on us. We wait until a funeral, a wedding toast, until they are in the hospital or moving away. Why? I don’t know exactly. Maybe because it’s we crave security and this sort of puts us out on a limb of risk. Maybe because society tells us to put up a screen of separation between ourselves and others, to avoid being interdependent with another, being vulnerable.
Speak up today – tell someone who is special that they are special, tell someone you care about that you care and why. Don’t wait, you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Speak up today – tell someone who is special that they are special, tell someone you care about that you care and why. Don’t wait, you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Loaves and Fishes in the Midst
After having such an experience with sharing food with many, I was thinking about the story of the loaves and fishes. You may be familiar with it. There are people and the disciples of Jesus say to send them away so he can get some rest. Countermanding that, Jesus stops them, has them gather their supplies of fish and bread, then proceeds to feed the people.
I just had to go back and reread that, seeing what kind of reaction was there and how I could learn more about God. Winding up in Matthew 14, I started reading and it clicked with the other factors going on that day.
“On Herod’s birthday the daughter of Herodias danced for them and pleased Herod so much that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she asked,” (Matthew 14:6-7). This girl, with some coaching from her mom, asked for the head of John the Baptist delivered to her on a platter. Herod wasn’t real thrilled with this, but had given his oath – so he had John beheaded in the prison. His head was delivered on a platter to the girl who gave it to her mother. The disciples took John’s body away and buried it and then went, telling Jesus what had happened.
Can you imagine the scene? There must have been many tears, strong words, questions, and fears. How could this happen? Why John? What kind of retribution can God rain on Herod’s head? Jesus must have grieved over the news and the knowledge of how and why John, his cousin died. Talk about feeling like being in too great a need to serve.
Ever feel that way? There is need in the midst of pain, hurt, business, or just regular life. We often need to pull away in those difficult times, as did Jesus. “He withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place,” (Matthew 14:13). Jesus came back, the boat landed and he saw a crowd. Seeing them, he had compassion on them, healing them, putting away his hurt in their midst. The disciples must have seen the fatigue, felt their own, and as evening approached, they tried to get Jesus to go and get some rest. Sending the people away, the thought was that would go to the villages and get some food.
Jesus said that the people didn’t need to leave, just feed them. We are talking a lot of people – over 5,000 gathered, which would require a great deal of food. The disciples pointed this out, “we have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” (Matthew 14:17). Jesus took the food and gave directions for the people to sit on the grass. He took “the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaves, gave thanks and broke the loaves. He gave them to the disciples and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied,” (Matthew 14:18-19). Ate and were satisfied! All ate and were satisfied. Then, the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. Five loaves of bread, two fish fed over 5,000 people with twelve basketfuls left over!
So, when I am fatigued or overwhelmed, I can still have compassion on others and help meet needs. When I am trying to meet those needs, I can thank God and ask for His provision. Then, faithfully wait to see the blessing that He loves to bestow.
I just had to go back and reread that, seeing what kind of reaction was there and how I could learn more about God. Winding up in Matthew 14, I started reading and it clicked with the other factors going on that day.
“On Herod’s birthday the daughter of Herodias danced for them and pleased Herod so much that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she asked,” (Matthew 14:6-7). This girl, with some coaching from her mom, asked for the head of John the Baptist delivered to her on a platter. Herod wasn’t real thrilled with this, but had given his oath – so he had John beheaded in the prison. His head was delivered on a platter to the girl who gave it to her mother. The disciples took John’s body away and buried it and then went, telling Jesus what had happened.
Can you imagine the scene? There must have been many tears, strong words, questions, and fears. How could this happen? Why John? What kind of retribution can God rain on Herod’s head? Jesus must have grieved over the news and the knowledge of how and why John, his cousin died. Talk about feeling like being in too great a need to serve.
Ever feel that way? There is need in the midst of pain, hurt, business, or just regular life. We often need to pull away in those difficult times, as did Jesus. “He withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place,” (Matthew 14:13). Jesus came back, the boat landed and he saw a crowd. Seeing them, he had compassion on them, healing them, putting away his hurt in their midst. The disciples must have seen the fatigue, felt their own, and as evening approached, they tried to get Jesus to go and get some rest. Sending the people away, the thought was that would go to the villages and get some food.
Jesus said that the people didn’t need to leave, just feed them. We are talking a lot of people – over 5,000 gathered, which would require a great deal of food. The disciples pointed this out, “we have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” (Matthew 14:17). Jesus took the food and gave directions for the people to sit on the grass. He took “the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaves, gave thanks and broke the loaves. He gave them to the disciples and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied,” (Matthew 14:18-19). Ate and were satisfied! All ate and were satisfied. Then, the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. Five loaves of bread, two fish fed over 5,000 people with twelve basketfuls left over!
So, when I am fatigued or overwhelmed, I can still have compassion on others and help meet needs. When I am trying to meet those needs, I can thank God and ask for His provision. Then, faithfully wait to see the blessing that He loves to bestow.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Time Apart
Have you ever needed a break? I have! I have had a time when I just want to get away from the noise, the people, daily routines, expectations… I need a vacation from life those days! You know, it’s the days where you sit up in bed and declare that it’s just not good a day to get up.
Sometimes, it is really important to have the time away. Mary needed time away and found a sanctuary in the home of Elizabeth and Zechariah. It was about three months that they welcomed Mary before she went home. Can you imagine as Elizabeth shared with Mary discussions over symptoms of an early pregnancy? Discussions over strolls in the hills, perhaps quiet times sitting with Zechariah.
But, it is important to note that Mary went home. Mary didn’t hide away and stay hidden. She rested, gathered strength, and then went home. I can imagine Mary gathering courage around her as she packed her things and headed back home. She was about to face the unknown and the known. The unknown of how people would react, who would talk, what would they say, what would people think, how would they treat her? The known of daily routines, well known streets, familiar voices and faces of family and friends would also be welcoming her.
If you need a break, how are you taking it? If you are hiding, how will you gather courage to come out and face the unknown and known?
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