Step Stools and Mary Hearts

   I had the project this last weekend to completely empty and clean my bedroom. So, after everything was moved, the walls still needed to be washed and the carpet cleaned. With a sore knee, the step stool wasn’t really all that fun. But, I had to do something to reach the top of the walls. So, it was on and off the step stool I went. By the end of the day, what can I say but ouch. However, it felt so good to have the room clean. At the end of the day, I stretched out on the floor, just to enjoy the carpet.

   As much as I am looking forward to having the new furniture in place and everything back, I love the quiet space that now exists.
   The quiet, when our world just gets too busy and noisy (which is quite frequently), it is a precious thing to me. When I become too busy, it is just so difficult to hear from God. That is probably partially why I so admire the Mary heart. Luke 10:41-42 says, “‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”
   There seems to be plenty to worry about, knees for instance as you climb up and down off of step stools. But, what good does that worry do me? I don’t mean not caring and just nonchalantly passing off everything in my path. There are definitely items which require planning, coordination, and are deserving of attention. But, that isn’t worry. Worry is the act of just well, worrying. You don’t do anything productive with it.
   I am a champion worrier. I know how to worry in multiple time zones, across continents with multiple subjects at one time! I know how to worry about the weather (a dog that freaks out at storms), the future, the past, work, bills, life, health, family, friends…. I know how to worry! And maybe that is part of the trick of it, I know how to worry. I get it, I understand it. But, not worry and sit at the feet of Jesus, well that is not my natural state and I have to unlearn and relearn things. Lying on that carpet though, I was reminded once again, gently and quietly, with that still small voice, “Give it to me.”
   “Lord, I’m worried about…..” my list would start rolling off my tongue.
   “Give it to me”
   “But, Lord, I’m worried about….. (I’m know progressing into international politics, weather, and my April calendar).
   “Give it to me”
   “But Lord, are you hearing me? I said I’m worried about…..”
   “Give it to me.”
    I paused, and then it hit me – wow I’m doing this again. I’m worrying, and holding on to things that I can’t control, can’t fix, can’t do anything with.
   “Lord, I’m giving it you.”
   “Thanks. Now, just be quiet”

Yarn Knots

   I have a beautiful round ball of a red soft wool yarn. It wasn’t in such an orderly ball until recently as it had turned from a large spiral of yarn into a collection of knots within knots. It was hidden in the yarn bag because it was such a mess. As I started untwisting it and working through the knots, I found out that it was going to take a while. Take the ball of yarn through the four strands, then loop it back through three others. Undo the twist of two pieces that are then twisted under and over and around two other pieces. Yes, it took a while. But, slowly, the knots grew smaller and the ball of yarn orderly and wrapped grew larger.

   Knots in our lives can work in much the same way. We realize that the knots are suddenly growing out of control. Where did they come from? My first inclination might be to stick it bag into the yarn bag, don’t address it and hope that somehow it just becomes orderly on its own. And well, that didn’t work at all… So, the yarn has be taken out, the knots or problems must be examined and looked at. Then, slowly one twist at a time the knot is examined and a decision is made as to which way movement is needed to undo the knot. It takes time and effort to undo the knots and problems of our lives, whether on a personal level, locally, statewide, nationally, or globally. We cannot just place them in the yarn bag and hope that they fix themselves.
   Be brave, be strong, seek God’s peace and wisdom – take a deep breath and pull the yarn out of the bag.

Dream Chasing Entrepreneur

   That word, entrepreneur, evokes thoughts of an explorer and a pioneer in my mind. The spirit that brought some westward to explore, tame, and shape seems to beat in the hearts of these men and women to start their own business.
    I was thinking about this last week as I wandered through a few local stores. The ladies that own them are there, behind the counter. One I had visited the week before and made a purchase. She remembered me, making sure to try and connect with a customer. It can’t be easy to be the owner, worker, errand runner, and chief bottle washer all at the same time.
   I don’t want to romanticize it unduly, because the truth is that there is a lot of hard work that goes into this. But, there is something so appealing to having a dream and following it through. Maybe that is what really catches my attention when I talk to entrepreneurs. They are dream chasers. How many dreams have we dreamed and turned away from them because of fear? Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of what others will think. What dream is it that you have? Go be a dream chaser.

Under the Rug

I am familiar with the expression “Sweep it under the rug.” In other words, just remove it from sight and hopefully whatever IT is, IT will take care of itself, die a natural death, and dissolve from being under the rug. Whatever rug these people have must be pretty impressive. If I sweep something under the rug, all it does is create a little bulge in the floor. They must have a different kind of rug. If I continue to sweet things under the rug, I will have a little bulge and then a bigger bump, until it is big enough to catch my toe on and fall. Eventually, it will look like a beach ball is under there, and that just doesn’t look right at all and will make the rug fall funny on the floor.

Instead of sweeping things under the rug, where they will be tripped on later – because they do not take care of themselves, die a natural death, and dissolve, these things must be dealt with and either put way or removed. It is not always an easy thing. To the contrary, it is often uncomfortable. However, after the first anxious minutes have passed, it is often my experience to grow more comfortable. Soon, even some nervous laughter may be heard.
Don’t sweep it under the rug. Take the rug outside and give it a good dusting.

Staged Face

She stood on stage. She had the smile perfectly practiced. Her poise came through and she seemed to speak calm and sweetness. Every movement was practiced, the way the microphone was held, the tilt of the head. To the most casual and even slightly mediocre observant watcher, she appears content and happy. It is in the eyes that you can catch a glimpse of the girl who is hiding behind the stage face. The doubt of her self-worth, the pain of hurt, and the uncertainty of growing up are present behind the mascara and eye-liner.
She is beautiful. And she doubts this. She is capable. And she doubts this. She is loved. And she doubts this.

I saw through the stage face. I have worn one as well at times. It is the face you put on when you don’t want people to comment, to state the platitudes which are well known and overly used. They are handy things, perhaps not good – but handy. Especially when having to face a crowd that is hostile, overly emotional, or just blasé. It is a helpful skill when stage lights are in your eyes and you can’t see the crowd at all. Yet, they think that you have singled one of them out specially. It is useful even when dealing with other tasks, which are unpleasant and require some sort of interaction. Yes, useful – but not always good. It isn’t always good because there is no one to disrupt the influence of the lie, to help us relearn truth.
Look beyond the stage face, look in the eyes. Let someone see past yours. Then, the healing can begin.

Invention

It hit a heat index of 122 this week! One hundred and twenty two very hot degrees! Walking up the hill from the office to the car, I smiled and felt my cheeks touch the rims of my sunglasses. Even the rims were hot! Sitting down in my car, I turned on the air conditioner full blast. It wasn’t until I actually pulled in that that air started to cool down. I stepped into the house and it felt so good. What a wonderful invention air conditioning was.

I wonder what the reaction was when people first started working on air conditioning, or any other invention. I know some inventions, many rather, have met with resistance and speculation. Others were welcomed openly. Some have passed through so quickly that we may not have even realized that there was a change occurring.
One generation sees an invention and it is something new and strange. The next may be seeing the third or fourth generation by-product and the initial invention is now out-dated. How wonderful is it that the inventors have pressed on, taking risks of failure, and came up with such creative things. Who would have imagined – a machine that cools the air. On days of 122 heat index – thank heavens!

Sinkholes

It was a giant hole! I mean a giant hole in the road! Heading to work, I generally drive over that spot at least once or maybe twice a day and now there is a giant hole there. We have had so much rain that there must have been some sort of a sink hole formed. And I mean deep and big! There were two guys working in it, and all I could see was the top of their hats.

Besides being slightly discomfiting, knowing I drive over this spot, it made me think about the way these holes are made. For some reason, I just couldn’t wrap my brain around how this worked, so I asked my dad to fill me in. He explained how small pieces of the dirt were washed away bit by bit with the ground water. Eventually, there was a chasm under the ground formed and when it reached close enough to the surface, the road fell in.
I may not be much for mechanical thinking (the thingy that connects to the other thingy and makes that stuff run is my idea of a technical answer), but my brain related it to life. How often do we have little bits and pieces washed away until there is a hole right under the surface? And then ca-boom, the road that we have traveled over so often. I can think of how this could be a negative thing, something that we haven’t dealt with eats away at us until we find ourselves standing in a hole, wondering what happened. I can also think of how it is an opportunity as well. I mean, think of the potential pot holes that we need to fix so that we don’t have to be standing in the bottom of a gigantic car eating hole!
So, then I thought about pot holes in my life. I wonder if I have ground water of a different kind seeping through and I need to deal with it. Perhaps we all do.

Transitions

When I know why a change is or is not occurring I can normally accept it. I may not like it, approve of it, or even want it – but I can accept it. There are sometimes though I just rail against the change, the transitions in life that leave me feeling as if I am in transit, stuck in the back of some cab that is heading east while I’m wanting to go south. Where is the control? Can I have a steering wheel here in the back seat? And a brake pedal too?
It’s been a week of changes; many transitions have hit me this week. With nearly one per day of major transitions, I was left feeling my eyes grow teary at the last one. No more! I know life is not static. I know that change will and must occur, but not in such close succession.
And at the same time I am trying to keep it all together, in that moment when I had no words and a completely stunned look on my face, I know there are other transitions I would love to make but have not had the opportunity. What a dichotomy, what strange mishmash of perceived wants with transitions avoided and transitions sought in nearly the same breath. No wonder women are confusing to men. It’s not so much that we change our minds as we haven’t really explained that there are no hard fast rules only lots of little minute ones, with great subtlety and sub text. A list grows in my mind even now of transitions I would willingly and gladly make in my life, but they do not occur. Others which I find unpleasant or completely surprising, they come with frequency.
This makes me think; perhaps I have the whole transition thing backwards. Maybe I should want the ones which are occurring and not want the ones which aren’t occurring. Or, if not want – maybe I should be quicker to accept them.
It must seem as if I am talking in code. Let me back up and start again. A friend is moving, transitioning, to a new and wonderful stage of her life – motherhood. I am saying good-bye to my friend as a co-worker, as a co-worker who lives multiple states away. Will we lose touch? Will we just drift apart without topics of workplace function and process to keep us talking? At the same time, she is taking on a wonderful and noble transition which I would love to do. My heart, while being so incredibly pleased for her, aches for me. And yet, the ache is tempered by a desire for God’s will, a trust in God’s plan. It changes the hurt from a raw wound, to one that is being treated and bandaged properly. Unfortunately, this hurt is not one cured by a shot or sitting just so. I have to turn this over to God and let him heal it for me.


Perhaps I do have the whole transition thing backwards. Maybe the wanted transitions are just God’s way of wanting our attention.

Don’t Wait

We wait until some momentous occasion to say, to tell the impact that someone else has had on us. We wait until a funeral, a wedding toast, until they are in the hospital or moving away. Why? I don’t know exactly. Maybe because it’s we crave security and this sort of puts us out on a limb of risk. Maybe because society tells us to put up a screen of separation between ourselves and others, to avoid being interdependent with another, being vulnerable.

Speak up today – tell someone who is special that they are special, tell someone you care about that you care and why. Don’t wait, you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Only in the Storms

We ask why do we have bad storms, cyclones and hurricanes? Asking God, “don’t you realize that you have people here that get hurt with this?” I saw a television show the other day about manna rays. These amazing sea creatures were spiraling in a giant cloud of the agricultural bits that they enjoy. They said that only in cyclones do these animals gather like this, in giant spirals, in a condition created by the cyclone.



It served as a reminder to me that during the storms, the difficult times, when we are wondering where God is and why this is occurring, that there may be some other purpose, literally under the surfaced that we do not see or understand. With that knowledge, it can bring both a hope and understanding to the difficult times.

Time Apart

Have you ever needed a break?  I have!  I have had a time when I just want to get away from the noise, the people, daily routines, expectations…  I need a vacation from life those days!  You know, it’s the days where you sit up in bed and declare that it’s just not good a day to get up. 

Sometimes, it is really important to have the time away.  Mary needed time away and found a sanctuary in the home of Elizabeth and Zechariah.  It was about three months that they welcomed Mary before she went home.  Can you imagine as Elizabeth shared with Mary discussions over symptoms of an early pregnancy?  Discussions over strolls in the hills, perhaps quiet times sitting with Zechariah. 

But, it is important to note that Mary went home.  Mary didn’t hide away and stay hidden.  She rested, gathered strength, and then went home.  I can imagine Mary gathering courage around her as she packed her things and headed back home.  She was about to face the unknown and the known.  The unknown of how people would react, who would talk, what would they say, what would people think, how would they treat her?  The known of daily routines, well known streets, familiar voices and faces of family and friends would also be welcoming her.

If you need a break, how are you taking it?  If you are hiding, how will you gather courage to come out and face the unknown and known?