Marking the River

A river courses through the land below. Watching it from the airplane window, I wonder how many times the banks have been reshaped. How many times has silt pushed together to create new land or been pushed further down the stream to deepen the path.

Life has changes. Every day is different. I start with my calendar in place, noting the events, people, places and plans. It syncs up with my map and with materials gathered to take me through the day in a productive and orderly fashion. Yet, for all of my planning there can be a series of changes, small and large that completely move the course of a day from its expected path.

Ecclesiastes three talks about moving of things in our world happening at the time of God’s choosing. I read the words and the list below, a time for this change and that change; a time for this bank to be reformed, a time for that river to be depended. The words at the top though, those are a reassurance that in drought or flood, the everyday meanderings occur in God’s timing.

He is the drawer of the map, the definer of the river bank. I can rely on him to guide through the changes; letting me sit back and watch what unfolds. 

Wind Just For Me

Winter in Iowa this year means cold and snowy days, bookended with bright sunshine and bitterly cold wind. Winter does have its benefits when living near the Mississippi River, watching eagles travel the waterway in search of open fishing spots. Almost two weeks ago, the wind had kicked up; making my face freeze in moments, finger tingling and nose chilling whenever I stepped outside. Wind in these cold temperatures where you have to lean into it to move forward; it makes me want to curl up in a warm blanket, in the sun, next to the pot bellied stove with a blazing fire inside of it and a cup of hot coffee inside of me! Heading out for a dentist appointment I had to brave the wind. As I walked from the office to the car in my many winter layers, I was grumbling to myself about the wind. It stung me with gravels and tiny pieces of ice kicking up with the gusts; leaving me digging in my purse for sunglasses to shield my eyes against the incoming micro assaults. 

Walking quickly to get out of the cold, I saw an eagle weaving in and out of the buildings along the road next to the river. A young eagle with wings stretched out fully, twisted into tight turns and then dove toward the earth only to catch the next wind and rocket back up into the sky. Skimming from the tree lines to the ice covered river, and then ascending in wide slow circles, other eagles performed a ballet on the wind. They seemed to only hold themselves ready, moving in faith to catch the invisible wind and trust that it would be there.

Invisible wind and eagle trust; my own thoughts started to catch flight and ascend as well as I continued to feel the wind against my face. It still made my fingers and nose tingle and my face feel frozen and stung. The same invisible wind stinging me was sending the eagles up in acrobatics against rocketing plumes of air. I saw them reach higher and higher, and then dip into dives with agility a pilot would envy, only to move to the next column of air and rise again.  Invisible wind and soaring flights; a thought was hovering on the edge of my mind and slowly built throughout the day.

I am someone who likes a plan.  I have found I can run with changes, but I prefer to know what the end game is.  Okay – the end game and all of the steps along the way.  In detail – copious detail…. When change comes without any of these things, I feel more like I have been tipped into the open space with the eagles, only with no wings and no wind. The thought of invisible wind and eagles grew in my mind, uncurling and suddenly it was a full thought; that wind was for me! That wind that stung my face suddenly held all the promise of summer as I heard the still small voice come back to me.  “Do you not know?  Have you not heard? ...They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Winds in life have been stinging lately.  They have kicked up debris and flung them about, stinging my face and making everything so very cold.  Where is spring; where are the soft warm breezes?  Where is the comfort and ease from the gusts that will knock me over?  And then, leaning into those very gusts, cold and harsh, I find myself celebrating them!  The wind – it’s for me!  It is my reminder in the midst of these difficult cold days of eagles spiraling on pillars of invisible air, my reminder that they are not merely  catching hasty moments in the air – they are soaring!

Invisible wind and my invisible God; they can both cause stings as I am lifted higher and higher on invisible mountains to new heights.  Let me lift up and stretch out my wings and soar. 

Why do you complain, Jacob?
Why do you say, Israel,"My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God”?
Do you not know?Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God,the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary     and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary,and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles; 

they will run and not grow weary,    

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40: 27-31

Sisters of Chalk and Grade Books

We worked together for a few years, forging a sweet friendship in a short time.  The five of us are all so different and yet complimentary in ways only the Master Planner could have put together.  It’s been several years now since we worked together, years when each of us drifted our own ways and on our own paths.  A recent evening reunion left me once again thinking through the memories of these wonderful women and what a gift they were and are in my life.  We walked through lesson plans, prayed over and dreamed dreams for our students, spent moments comforting each other in the times of frustrations, and had more times of laughter than I can count.  I think about these special women and how important and different each is….

A sweet southern spirit of hospitality, she loves her children with a fierceness that is belied by a graceful charm.  This woman has found she is much more capable than she might of thought years ago and has a new confidence to match.  It sits well on her, as this is strength of faith and not one made by a person that becomes haughty.  She still has moments where I believe she doubts herself.  I wish she knew her smile conveys not only the temporary sadness and anger at the hardness life presents at times, but also the long lasting joys of motherhood and friendship.  An encourager and a lover of hope, you are a dear friend.

A firecracker, she sparkles with bright colors and vivacious laughter.  With the heart of a soaring bird and the spirited energy of a beach girl, a technical scientific mind is thrown into the mix to create a whirligig of potential and laughter and survivor’s strength.  I love her curiosity about all things scientific, with a constant prodding to investigate and understand why God has made the way the way the world is.  With a whole world of things to learn, the possibilities are open wide and boundless before her; and I can just see her running through the scientific field gathering as many proverbial flowers of knowledge as her arms can carry.  A momma, a wife, a grandma; you inspire me to learn and laugh and seek God’s heart, you are a dear friend.

A rock for so many, I’m not sure she knows how many depend on her as a source of strength.  And yet, her strength is real because it is from a depth of faith, and not brittle from being solely person dependent.  With a work ethic that amazes me, she keeps working to provide for her family and provide a better life for those she works with.  Such a heart, big as the ocean and yet can view the world with a realists eye.  A mom and a daughter, you seek to and encourage me to make the world a better place, you are a dear friend.

A sunbeam embodied, she lights up people by seeking to show them God’s Holy Spirit by her words and actions.  Joy bubbles up in her, as well as a fierce fighting passion for those she loves.  She’s a momma with a passion for growing those around her, both her children and those children that are part of her brood of youth brought into her life by God’s path.  The faith of a child with a warrior prayer life, and the shine of God’s love, you are a warming and refreshing influence and are a dear friend. 

A friendship forged in the classroom, over 10 minute lunches and hours of classroom preparation, chalk dust and report cards, term papers and curriculum; each of them are so special to me.  I’m so glad that they are part of my life.  

Light Effects

There was an ice storm a few nights ago. Waking up, I found a layer of ice covering everything. After letting the car run for quite some time, I was able to scrape the remainder off the car. A tenuous walk in to work, led to me being a bit apprehensive about walking out to my car later. Would it still be slick outside? The power of the sun was at work and where it’s rays could reach the ice had melted off. I was amazed at the difference of the effect the light made, and started thinking about light.

God is described as light, and wants us to bring up the icy patches, the slippery spots, in our lives so that he can melt them. The ice could be issues that we don’t want to deal with, hard or cold parts that are painful to touch. But, when God’s light touches them, they start melting and become softer. Then, the shell melts away and the light contacts the surface. God moves and His light creates change.

Knees

   Over the last few months I have been nursing a knee injury that finally led me at a doctor and physical therapy. The doctor thinks that the fat pad under the knee cap has been pinched and is irritated. When I momentarily got over the fact that he said fat pad and must be a brave (or nutty) fellow to ever tell a woman such a thing, I was ready to listen to all the instructions. One of which again must have led to a look between confusion, consternation, and just plain a lack of translation. The instruction boiled down to, in a nutshell – if it hurts you, then don’t do that. Do something else. Well, by the end of the day, walking hurts, sitting hurts – what am I supposed to do? It is really hard for me to give myself permission to sit and rest this leg. I have found myself trying to consolidate trips into the other room or down the hall. So, why if I know that this joint needs to rest is it hard to rest?

   We have heard mention of the Puritan work ethic, to not be lazy. But, when is it okay to rest? When do we seek out rest? And yet, we have such a wonderful example to look at. God creates the world. He pulls it all together in it’s tiny and great complexities and then rests. He doesn’t rest because of fatigue. He rested as an example. There was no thought of laziness, lack of productivity. My knee hurts. I’m going to rest it and not feel guilty. After all, what better example could I follow?

The Eternal Assurance Agent

   Working my way through books, H.G. Wells wrote in the War of the Worlds, that “God is no insurance agent.” I thought that that was an interesting statement, but wanted to add my own though at the end of the characters. God is an assurance agent!

   Insurance is (according to the English Encarta Dictionary) “an arrangement in which a company provides customers financial protection against loss or harm in return for a sum of money in premium payments.” So, if God is an insurance agent, then I have to buy an agreement and pay for it. And, I better make sure that that agreement covers everything under the sun, because insurance only covers what is in the agreement.
   Assurance is a pledge of promise of certainty. Again, going to the dictionary, an assurance is “confidence and freedom from uncertainty; a declaration intended to inspire confidence.” In Job, a companion said, “Be assured that my words are not false; one who has perfect knowledge is with you.” The certainty God offers is not based on what is covered in our plan, but in His plan. He is the maker of eternal assurance.
  
Job 36:4

God Sighting

   A news report several days ago told of how social networking software is making celebrity sightings more like celebrity stalking. The reporter was questioning if the fans of a movie star really needed to know what coffee they are having or if they stopped in at the grocery store to get a loaf of bread. It hit me that we may be spending a lot of time tracking down these people who are good at projecting different ideas and personalities through scripts. But, what if we were working on using social media for God Sightings instead?

   Did you see God today? I did! I saw him in a little girl walking to school, book bag in hand and skipping her way down the sidewalk. I heard him yesterday in the music, laughter, and discussion of a group of people seeking to build and grow each other. I saw him in a hospital, holding a scared patient’s hand. I saw him in a celebration, singing along.
   I don’t really care what type of coffee the movie star drinks or what type of bread they get at the grocery store. But, I do care about God being there. Take a look, do you see any God sightings?

Why

   There is a question that has probably been asked in every language, every day of every year. Why do bad things happen? I could give you the simplistic answer – sin. Okay, so that’s correct, but why? An age old question, and I can’t answer it. Sorry, that’s right, but the why will have to remain unresolved for now.

   But, I came across Psalm 169 and it hit me that though some of these why’s will be wait till heaven to answer questions, it does speak to an answer. Let me first say that the psalmist was someone who loved God’s law and understood how it was not a punishment but a protection. So, with that in mind...
   “Do good to your servant according to your word, O Lord. Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I believe in your commands. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. Their hearts are callous and unfeeling, but I delight in your law. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.”
   These are verses 65-72 in Psalm 119. It struck me that the author was thanking God for affliction. “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word.” “It is good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.” Maybe this is part of the not so simple answer. When things are good and uncomplicated, it is easy to simply forget to put the effort into learning about and paying attention to our relationship with Him.
   I’ll be honest, I don’t often think of affliction in the form of any type of suffering, burdens, hardships, pains, troubles, misery, or misfortunes as a good thing. I may even be the person in the minute who is asking why. Except normally it’s a capital Why because it’s a loud conversation between God and I. But, what a perception shift from the norm! Affliction is not meant to hurt me but to train, teach, and help. Like a sheepdog guiding the wayward sheep back, the sheep doesn’t appreciate the steering, but how happy it is to see the fellow herd members and be home. So, maybe that’s a partial and short answer to the why.

I Want to Do It All – Just Not All At Once

   Terri Clark came out with a song several years ago, “I Want to do it All”. I can completely relate! While I think that a lot of the things are on her list sound like fun, my own list takes form. However, I cannot just take a few days off, get it all in and be done. I do want to do it all, just not all at once!

   I had to turn down something a week or so ago, which sounded fun. But, I knew that my calendar was full and it just wouldn’t fit. So, I decided that it would have to go on the not all at once part of the list. That makes me feel better, knowing I don’t have to do it all at once.
   But, what to put on my list? Well, Paris in the fall does sound like fun. I’m not so much into the Mardi Gras scene at Mardi Gras – way too many people smushed into those streets for me. But, I wouldn’t mind going back to New Orleans. Let’s see what else…. I want to go to Marrakesh and shop in the bazaar, I want to make something beautiful, I want to take photos and have a display, I want to write a book, I want to plant a herb garden, I want to watch a space shuttle launch, I want to go back to IRAM and watch the horses, I want to serve and to help, I want to be a friendly face for someone who needs it, I want to be a success in my career, I want girls trips with my dear friends, I want to go to Wales and Scotland… My list could go on, that is only the beginning.
   Is there anything I should avoid because it sounds too difficult? No! Because through all of this is a desire to go where God wants me to go, to do what God wants me to do. I am the only me and want to be the best me I can. You are the only you, and I hope you have the same aspiration. So, my list changes over time with guidance from a Heavenly Father. Dream big!

Ecclesiastes Considerations

   About a year ago, I was going through a rough time and a friend passed along a verse to me. It has since made it onto a yellow post it note, scribbled with some green marker ink, and has a home tucked partially behind my computer monitor on my desk. Somewhere over the last year, the post-it-note got wet, so a few of the words are a bit smeared. But I can still make out the words of Ecclesiastes 7:14. “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.” It has been a comfort when things are difficult to remember that God makes what I think of as good and bad times.
   So, without diving into waxing philosophical about why God would make good and bad times or not want us to discover about our future, I take comfort in knowing that God’s hand is in the total plan and the minute details.