The Right Destination

An elderly woman, tiny in frame, sat at her dining room table. In quiet tones, she told me about serving as a missionary in war torn countries. She told me of how bombs had dropped in her yard and potential kidnappers had followed her. She told me of the people she loved serving, and how she went to bed and slept in the middle of a war zone. Frail, petite and quiet; to look at her, this would not be the expected paragon of broad shouldered strength. Yet, she had found the right destination to lean on during troubles and in the celebration of victories. She taught me that to share our burdens with each other was not a weakness but a blessing; it both diminished our luggage load and let others be blessed by helping to carry some of that same weight.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

It was said to drop the distractions at the door on Sunday. Leave those disruptive troubles, hopes and plans on the stoop so that I can concentrate on the rituals and teachings of the day. But the swollen knot of stress, grief and hope that sits between my ribs and is choking me does not magically dissolve at the door step. I try, I stand there and wait for it to dissolve. I catch myself questioning, am I really just trying to be more self-reliant and self-protective rather than Christ reliant, more detached from the body of Christ rather than linked into the bond of family?  

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” John 13:34

Let’s not leave our disruptions at the door. Instead, let’s carry them in and set these burdens, both light and heavy, down at the altar. For those loads too heavy, large or grand to be carried by one, let us help one another carry them in and set them carefully on the altar. Then, once these things are at their right destination, let us place them safely into the care of the fixer, the dream maker, the healer and author of all good things. It won’t be easy; I know that I am not always so spectacular at making myself vulnerable. It can certainly be uncomfortable for most of us at any moment in time. But especially when this is baggage we have carried with caution and watchfulness, because it is important to us.

Carrying the burdens there, sharing our burdens, loving one another – it is like a city at night, the lights will come on and we will find that we have companions on our journey.  

Defined

   Who gets to define what success is? I was in a conversation not too long ago and the topic turned to what is success. If I Google successful people, I come up with a wide variety of Thomas Edison bios, instructional material on How to Be a Success, and promos of How to be Successful Without a College Degree. Looking through the list, it is easy to see that the main qualification for success here is financial success or media success. But, is that really the end of the definition? Is that even a good definition?
   Is the mom who bakes 200 cupcakes for PTO a success as she puts every effort possible forth into raising her child? Is the entrepreneur who follows a dream and does not ever meet wealth a success? Is the artist a success for creating the art or for finding a buyer? Do you have to move to a foreign land to be a success? Do you have to make a certain amount of money; is there a minimum and cap to that? I was reading a biography about John Adams and I think that he phrased it quite well “The laws of man may bind him in chains or may put him to death, but they can never make him wise, virtuous or happy.” The laws of man, though he was referring to actual legal systems, are also composed of the unwritten rules. The rules of what society deems what is to be “normal”, “acceptable”, and “successful”. Those laws, they are often separating, divisive, and confusingly defined. If someone fails, how much success does it take to make up for that, to balance it back out? Why does that change for some and the scale seem weighted?
   So, I guess when it boils it down, what is distilled is I question what do I consider to be a success, for me to be a success. I think one reason why it is so hard for me to answer that is that there are multiple points trying to impress upon me their definition. Plus, my finish line seems to keep moving. I no more accomplish one thing and then feel like I need to jump to the next challenge. So with all of that rolling around in my head, it was a struggle to sleep, until I came upon a very short phrase that led me to turn off the light, snuggle into my blanket, and head to sleep. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. My drive to achieve is part of me, it’s a persistence that has proved to be a boon when I have spent ten hours on an econ exam, when I didn’t want to take the next step, when I wasn’t sure what I was going to do next. But, how sweet those words were, when after the trying and seeking and working and wearing out, “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Now that’s a definition I can live with.

Nurse, Hold, Carry… and Release

Have you ever noticed the way we use the words grudge, problem, and burden? We nurse grudges, hold problems close, and carry burdens. Ever wonder why? I mean, doesn’t that seem a bit backwards? You would think that we would want to shun grudges, dismiss problems, and rid ourselves of burdens.

Okay, so it’s not that easy to let go of these things. It’s not so easy to release those things. And at other times I think we, myself included, are not even realizing that we are doing such things. Nursing a grudge, holding it close and nurturing it; I’ve been there and done that. It’s not easy to let those go, especially if it is something that has been nursed. Problems held close, repeated over and over in the mind and heart until they are overwhelmed and the problems are so bloated that they are completely out of perspective. Burdens are carried, moved with us from place to place. We get up and move and pick up our burden and carry it along with us.
Take a deep breath. No, really – a deep breath, way down in the bottom of your lungs. Then, hold it for a few moments, then relax and let it out. Feel the relaxing in your muscles as the air goes wooshing out, the pressure release? For me, that is a pleasant feeling. What if we let go of our grudges, problems, and burdens in the same way? Wooosh and we release it to God, who can carry our burdens and let us go on without having to carry all of that with us. What a release!