The Voice in Fragile Silence

Pairing my favorite writing music, Chopin, with the sound of the summer rain, I made my way to the front porch this morning. Picking up my pen, journal, coffee and Bible along the way, I sat quietly waiting for actual words to translate from thought to ink on the page. As the dogs played in the rain (or avoided it all together), the words came in waves like the sprinkle to deluge coming from the sky. Today, this is my time of quiet.

It’s hard to be quiet, not meaning the absence of sound, but the stilling of my mind and heart. I choose to put aside my things to-do, things to think through and things to plan out. Distractions are numerous, roosting in the tree in front of me and singing a siren song of urgency, people, prayers, must-dos, needs, when am I going to-dos, whys, how comes, contingency plans and don’t forgets. Each feathered member of the flock is chirping in my mental ear, saying pay attention to me because I’m important. And, they are – but in the scale of priorities, this must rank higher.

This time is when I consciously choose to seek the gentle whisper of a voice in a fragile silence that is easy to miss. My spirit craves this time, my heart is strengthened by its power. Why? What happens? As I sit here, it would appear to be a time that is nothing more miraculous than the goodness of another day. But, it is when I am quiet in mind and heart I can hear God’s voice best. 

Though not an audible voice, he makes himself heard nonetheless. Like sitting in companionable silence with a friend, this is a comfortable place to be this morning. I can trust the words my friend, my God, says. He waits and encourages me to listen, an act of love. This is where I am stretched and challenged to be more like Christ. This is where I can run when the journey is too much for my strength. This is where I can turn when I am broken over the cry of my heart. This is my place of navigational refocus when I am stymied on which path to take, especially when there are many great options available. This is where I am redirected when I have made poor choices. This is my greatest place of praise, celebrating those abundant everyday miracles.

And the response of that gentle whisper, many times it feels like the answer Elijah hears, “What are you doing here,” from 1 Kings 19:9b. Different emphasis can be placed on distinct words in that question and subtly change the meaning.

                What are you doing here?

                                What are you doing here?

                                                What are you doing here?

                                                                What are you doing here?

                                                                                What are you doing here?

I find my responses to this question come in the same starts and stops as the writing does, as I pause to think through each phrase. Praise, friendship, connectedness, supplication, restoration, protection, hope, the need to hear that voice – The Voice, that is my motivation. That is why I am here.

I say the silence is fragile because it can be easily broken. It demands a discipline and desire from me to actively step away from my calendared, socially connected world of IMs, emails, texts, posts and messages to focus elsewhere. It is time for me to listen and hear from the most important messenger, to hear from God.

Not Wasting the Loss

God certainly has a great sense of drama – just the perfect way to get our attention.  The first person we get to know in Luke’s story has seen an angel, received a life changing message from God, and now – no talking until later.  No talking! 

There is one thing that I’m going to ask you to keep in mind through this – when God presents you with what seems like a loss, are you going to waste it? 

The people that had been outside praying and worshiping were now starting to wonder about Zechariah.  Where could he be, what could he be doing?  The room Zechariah was in wasn’t exactly a living room with comfy furniture to lounge about on.  Instead the Kodesh Kodashi, the Holy of Holies, was the place that held some precious reminders of God; like the Ark of the Covenant, the Ten Commandments, Aaron’s staff, a canister of oil, and a jar of Manna.  Each thing was a “stone of Ebenezer” (1 Samuel 7:12), a memorial to serve as a reminder of God’s help.  Clouded with incense, to keep a reminder of the need to protect themselves from God, this was an indirect way to approach God.  This time was measured and known of by the entire people, it was realizing the power and sovereignty and holiness of God.  So, people started to worry about Zechariah.  What was he doing in there? 

Then here comes Zechariah, with amazing news and no way to tell it.  Can’t you imagine, Zechariah’s heart about to burst, excitement, amazement, fear, awe – and his mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out.  The people did people understand that something had happened.  But what?  There would have been discussion, speculation, hoping, praying, worrying of the people gathered there.  What happened, what was God trying to tell Zechariah, what was Zechariah trying to tell them?  On that holy day and during that holy time in that holy place did this message only apply to Zechariah, or was this something that was about to impact the nation? 

Remember that I asked you before to keep loss in your mind, and then to go a step further – to understand not wasting this loss.  Zechariah had big news to share.  He had seen and experienced something amazing!  He had a message from God!  Not only was he going to be a Dad, but this new life would grow to a son who was a joy, a delight, great in God’s sight, and will be a missionary for God amongst God’s own people.  I don’t know about you, but I think that I would have wanted to be able to talk, to shout, to sing, to ask, to seek, to share.  But, not a sound would come out.  This was a loss in Zechariah’s life.  It was now Zechariah’s choice of how to gain from God’s gift.  Silence as a gift?  That does seem like an odd concept.  Discipline of a loving parent, when well done really is a gift, a gift of teaching, teaching self-discipline, teaching consequences, and teaching boundaries.  Silence for an extended period of time might have actually been a great learning time for Zechariah.  Imagine not speaking for one week.  At first, it would be strange, and most certainly it would be frustrating at times.  But, how much closer would you listen and pay attention to others?  How much closer would your conversations be with God?   Keep it in the back of your mind; I’m coming back to this later – not wasting loss.

Zechariah leaves the temple, goes home.  Guess what – Elizabeth is going to have a baby!  Elizabeth is ecstatic, and says, “The Lord has done this for me," she said, "In these days he has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people," (Luke 1:25).  Disgrace?  Yes!  Elizabeth had a loss of her own.  She wasn’t a mom and for that reason, would not have fulfilled one of her primary duties in that culture.  Imagine how empty Elizabeth’s arms must have felt when others were holding their toddlers, aching heart as other mothers celebrated the achievements of their children, feelings of failure.  Yet, we also know that Elizabeth was upright in the sight of God, an authentic follower of God.  The time before this baby was a loss in Elizabeth’s life, yet here she is.  Notice that she’s not saying, “it’s about time God, where have you been?”  Instead, she is rejoicing and is benefiting from years of solid knowledge and practice of the Lord’s commandments and regulations.  God has prepared Elizabeth and Zechariah to raise this new baby, they have gained from their loss – not wasted it. 

We all have losses in our life.  Is there one that really is a gift from a loving and holy Father?  Are you going to waste your losses or grow in them?

Profound Eloquence of Silence

Some words have great power, orators present their speeches and presentations.  But at times, it is in the silence that God is moving and preparing. 

Have you ever felt that your prayers were just bouncing off the ceiling?  I have.  Where are you God?  That may be a cry that your heart knows all too well.  When I feel that way, I find myself reaching for my Bible and seeking out the story of Hannah and the story of Esther.  Hannah poured out her heart to God, grief to the point of sickness.  Esther was a woman who’s people faced execution and she herself would have been included in that terrible act.  In the days between when God clearly communicated and when the problem was found out, there was quiet. 

How Hannah and Esther must have felt when God was working behind the scenes to prepare them and everyone else for the next step. 

Another heart that heard quiet was Mary.  After the angel made the announcement that she would become pregnant with the son of God, she had approximately nine months of quiet time from God.  What did Mary think of in the quiet, did she ever question, worry, anticipate, hope, etc….?  Yet, in the silence, God was there – Mary, Hannah, Esther, they were never alone.  God was not being absent or forgetful.  He was moving behind the scenes, quietly preparing, speaking; whispering hope and peace in each moment. 

If you are wondering where God is, if the silence is achingly loud – take comfort that God is not absent.  He is working to prepare you for what is coming next.

Silence

Crickets, a soft wind, the crackle of a fire, frogs singing their tunes, the sweetness of silence only comes when I slow myself down. Slowing down, that is so hard to do, though I’m not sure why. Have you ever tried to just be still and quiet for a little while? If I sit down for a little while, I find myself either only faking stillness with my body while my mind whirs at its normal speed or I fall asleep.

But, I need stillness. Prayer is a conversation with God. I’ve been in very few conversations that are good and while only being one way. I seem to stay awake and manage to concentrate when I’m pouring out my heart to God, but when I stop to listen to Him – it’s not so easy.

I stopped today for just two minutes to be quiet and listen. What a long two minutes! I’m going to have to work up to a longer time period. Then I think – that’s terrible, two minutes! My creator, my Lord who knows the number of hairs on my head, every prayer before I pray – and I have a hard time with over two minutes!

I’m going to make a choice, an effort, to spend time listening to God. To spend time in the quiet until it’s not so quiet. But, instead it is a time to be filled with the sound of God’s voice, sweeter than the songs of the frogs, the fire, and the crickets on a quiet evening.