Thursday, January 14, 2010

Intent, Truth, and Forgiveness

Have you ever wondered what someone was thinking?  I have, and not just what to get that very hard to buy for individual for Christmas.  I wonder what they think about… this project, that event, and of course what do they think about me? 
In those moments of wondering, a little thought can start poking us.  “Hey, what if they think that I am ___” (you fill in the blank for what best suits you).  One look misinterpreted, on tone not understood, a perceived change here then there, and the next thing you know it’s snowballing out of control.  “They don’t like me!”  Oh what assumptions we have jumped to, when the intent of the initial wondering was perhaps something so completely different.  However, charging ahead as the snowball starts picking up speed and becoming an avalanche, we may even react to our assumed perception of intent.  “Well, I’ll show them – I’ll just be polite, cold but polite.  I’ll cut this off before we even get there.”  Then, that individual who suddenly is receiving the cold shoulder is left wondering why, starting the cycle all over again. 
What can stop the cycle of avalanches from plowing over our heads over and over?  The truth!  Go to someone and clear up any misconceptions long before you are digging yourself out from a very cold and lonely tunnel.  What you hear may be a total shock and could possibly be completely different than what you originally thought. 
But, what if it’s not?  Take your opportunity.  The door is open, deal with the issues.  Get them all out on the table, talk them all through.  No, that’s most definitely not easy.  However, if you can do this with a heart of grace, seek out forgiveness when you need it.  Give forgiveness when it’s needed.  Trust may not be there for a while, or perhaps forever.  And most definitely the face of the relationship has changed.  However, the avalanches can stop.   

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