I enjoy church services most of the time, the sermons that I am privileged to listen to are really wonderful and quite often challenge me to think of God in a new way. This last Sunday I felt burdened to forego listening to the sermon and pray instead. I want to share a piece of that.
“Lord, today I feel burdened to pray, though torn because I believe that this sermon is going to be good and useful to hear. But I also want to have a merry hear Lord, doing what you want me too obediently and with joy. So, here we are. I also want a Mary heart, one that sits in your presence, content to soak you in. So again, here we are.
Lord, my heart is heavy. So much news, such sadness and hurting, fearful and hateful and terrible things in the world. What do I do in the midst of this? We have so many that are ill, many that are angry, burdened, frustrated. I am overwhelmed at the hurt, broken hearted over the pain. What can I possibly do with all of this? I could just ask for you to fix it. But even as you do, because you are faithful to, would I remember to thank you? I hope so.
Lord, please let our hearts be submissive to you, open to hear you. Abba Father, our ears are so stopped up that we only hear muffles of your word. Remove the blockages, that sin like an ugly and filthy dirt, so that we can hear you. How you love us, I don’t know if I will understand, but I am grateful.
Lord, I loose your forgiveness. I loose a quiet, conscious, driven seeking of your quiet, of you – that we will ache with the need for time with you.
Lord, I loose your peace. In the midst of such suffering, in the middle of an ugly world with hateful words, poor attitudes, and the tyranny of busyness, the deceit of arrogance, I loose Your Peace. In the middle of all of that and more, the wreckage of humanity, I believe that you will clean up the filth. The mess is overwhelming when your peace and grace illuminates it. But, then, we watch the hands remove the debris. I think of the wreckage in the lives of people have been hit with earthquakes, floods, tsunamis, fires. The debris is still being cleaned up, I beg you to loose your peace in the middle of the cleaning.
Lord, I loose your joy. Let my own heart be joyful in my tasks. When difficulties come, please maintain the balance of joy in my life. Let me do my tasks with joy.
Lord, I loose your goodness and holiness. Father, the people here, in this room right now, they are your children that you know intimately from before they were born. You know them from head to foot, each hair, freckle, thought, want hope, hurt, desire. You know all. In this please loose your goodness to pull us closer to you.
Thank you Father, my own heart is lighter. You are so good. Thank you that you do not just leave us when we mess up to clean up the afore said mess. But instead, you help us, illuminate our way, and bring your joy, peace, growth, and love.”
This is just a part of it. I missed really paying attention to the sermon, but I felt as if Jesus were sitting in the pew with me. I just couldn’t miss out on the time to talk to Him.